What is OK and Not OK Sexual Behaviour

It is important to keep in mind there are many normal range developmental sexual behaviours for a young person in this age group.

• Sexual responses are present from birth
• A wide range of sexual behaviours are normal
• Sexual development is influenced by family, social experiences, peer group, culture, biological factors and sexual experiences  

For example, the 8-12 year old age group is a time of significant development including sexual development. 

• Curiosity about sexuality issues
• Puberty
• Increased peer contact
• Experimenting
• Acting out, showing off  

The Programme provides an initial assessment and treatment, if necessary, based on a continuum model of definable groups.    

1.  Normal sexual exploration ( in 8-12 year old children)

• Age appropriate exploration        
• Sexual play – “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours”        
•  “Playing doctor” “playing house”        
• Similar age and size, generally mixed gender, more often friends than “siblings”        
• Excited, giggly, rarely feel shame or fear       
• Children with special needs may develop at different rates        
• Differing backgrounds/cultures may have different expectations       
• Children explore each other’s bodies visually and involving touch, e.g. playing doctor, playing house. With guidance and good boundaries from safe role models children learn what behaviour is appropriate.  

Sexual behaviours may include: 

• Drawing genitals on human figures        
• Asking questions about sexual differences, puberty, pregnancy        
• Curiosity about nudity        
• May want to touch genitals, breasts and buttocks of other same aged children        
• Kissing familiar adults and children        
• Erections        
• Masturbates in private and for younger children may initially happen in public family setting however the child is responsive to being asked to stop.    
• Rubbing genitals against objects       
• Interest in breeding behaviour of animals        
• Interested in sex words and swearing, dirty jokes and sexual media  

2.  Concerning/sexually reactive Behaviour  

• Behaviour that appears to be outside the normal range        
• Child appears to be preoccupied or obsessed by sexual behaviour        
• Behaviour out of balance with peer group       
• Some children may have been sexually abused or over exposed to sexual stimulation e.g. Poor boundaries around sexual behaviours of adults in the living environment or exposure to explicit media.        
• Some children may act in a sexually harmful way.   

Sexual behaviours may include:      

• Drawing genitals in disproportionate size to body        
• Stares/sneaks to stare at nude persons        
• Wants to compare genitals with much older or much younger children or adults        
• Preoccupied with touching genitals, breasts, buttocks of other children (even when told not to)        
• Attempts to engage in oral, anal/vaginal sex       
• Excessive erections       
• Inserts objects in own or others genital/rectum        
• Touching genitals of animals        
• Persistent masturbation, particularly in public        
• Excessive interest and or preoccupation with sexual matters  

3.  Sexually harmful behaviour

• Sexually harmful behaviour is complex         
• Behaviours go far beyond developmentally appropriate sexual exploration            
• Persist over time            
• Part of pattern rather than isolated events           
• Unable to stop without help            
• Impulsive, compulsive and aggressive            
• Feel anger, anxiety and confusion            
• Children may have been abused, may have experienced too much sexual stimulation        
• Poor boundaries or physical violence

Sexual behaviours may include:        

• Explicit sexual drawings            
• Plays male or female roles in a sad, angry or aggressive manner, hates own/other sex            
• Asks people to take off their clothes at times using force            
• Demands to see genitals/breasts/buttocks of children and adults            
• Forces other children into sexual touching            
• Forced or mutual oral, anal or vaginal sex            
• Sneaky sexual behaviour            
• Coercion or force used when inserting objects into genitals/rectum of others            
• Sexual behaviour with animals            
• Persistent masturbation particularly in public           
• Masturbates with objects            
• Excessive interest and/or preoccupation with sexual matters            
• Asks to watch sexually explicit TV, makes sexual sounds or imitates intercourse  

Sexually Harmful Behaviour involves:

Force or Coercion:       

• Threats        
• Violence       
• Bribery (money,treats)        
• Trickery

Lack of consent:        

• Compliance may not mean consent        
• Consent implies full knowledge, understanding and choice

Inequalities:        

• Age Differences        
• Intellectual functioning       
• Emotional development        
• Knowledge/Life experiences        
• Power and Authority
• Physical differences/size